Monday, June 12, 2006

"Snitches or Reliable Informants"

May 18,2006

As all days this place has been hectic and stressful. This is suppose to be a chronic care unit for sick and dying people but the stress level is so extreme. When I wake up in the morning my stomach automatically knots up wondering what is going to happen today. Well today, early this morning the scene was laid out. Radio, a big, greedy idiot who has become so addicted to the wheelchair that he won't even get up and take a few steps to his bed; he rolls up to the side of his bunk then lays over and like rolls into the bed. God, you talk about a sight to see. It is a sight all right. I wish to God I could video that....It is like a huge blob just falling over head first into a mattress. This morning at med call he did his usual trick of cuffing some of his pills, his neurotin's. He sticks them down between his legs. This morning he accidentally dropped one and rolled on off to his cell. Well, it just so happens that one of the cops was watching the whole thing. So when Radio rolled off the cop picked up the pill and watched him. He went back to his cellblock, to his cell, then in about one minute he rolled back out to the med area and was stupid enough to ask the cop if she had found a pill he dropped. She said, "and why had you gotten to your cell before you realized you had dropped a pill? Was it not where it was suppose to be?" Anyway, he was written up as the cop had seen every thing from beginning to end. Now greed caused this write-up for Radio. The greed for one dollar he would have gotten for the neurotin. He was suppose to mark that pill and that one dollar as a loss and just let it go. But no, he was so greedy that he went directly back to the cop who had watched the whole thing to ask if she had found the pill. Greed! My God how greedy can you be. And they still don't believe me when I tell them, "you will build up a little something or maybe a lot then bam....Something will happen and you will lose every bit of it." And that is the truth. God does not like greed. He loves charity and giving even when you don't have it to give. But what made it worse, Radio went to the Unit Manager and dropped a dime on somebody, Cleever(like a meat cleaver--use your imagination) telling that he had a shark(knife) in exchange for a suspended sentence. The police came in, locked the cellblock down, searched all out in the cellblock then went into cleever's cell and tore it up. Really disrespected his property. And he did not have a shark. Not a one. But Radio still got a suspended sentence. And then had the nerve to get in my and Cleever's face talking about the liar who went out and told it. Both of us want to beat the hell out of him but I told him it will take care of itself. Things usually take care of themselves. This is the type of snake, back-stabbing devils we are forced to live around. They will kiss you and be sticking a knife in your back at the same time. That is why I stay in my cell all of the time and have little association with these rats. I am sorry I am late getting this entry in. I have to depend on someone who is erratic and unpredictable. Sometimes I go over two and three weeks without one word from them. Their life is in such turmoil and grief. But they don't really know turmoil and grief. They need to be spending time in a quiet place thanking God for all of their blessings and stop to look around at the world at the prisons to see what turmoil and misery really, truly, is. Yall have a good day. Thanks for the supportive comments. I really do appreciate them and you too anonymous one. Take care....EH

Friday, June 09, 2006

"What is Eyesight Worth" April 28th, 2006

I am sitting here tonight wondering if these people are going to take my eyesight just as they have taken everything else from me. Last month, after waiting for months on the "waiting list", I finally saw the eye doctor. I last saw the eye doctor in 2004 at Marion. She told me then I had very, very early signs of a cataract, but it was nothing to be concerned about. In February, when I saw the eye doctor here, he said I needed stronger glasses. I asked him about the cataract and he said it was still not anything to address at that time. Well, when I got my glasses about a month ago I knew something was wrong. It took me about a week to finally realize that I was not seeing clearly out of the left eye. I complained and when the eye doctor came back today, the last Friday of every month, they took my glasses to have them checked then. I asked, "now you tell me how this man is going to take these glasses and be able to tell if I can see out of them. Oh yes, he can do that." They said. It is beyond me, I mean, I am the one who cannot see and how can he know the exact problem and the extent of the problem without me? Well tonight, just a couple of hours ago they called me out to the medication window to tell me the eye doctor checked my glasses and there is nothing wrong with the glasses. It is the cataract causing the problem. Well, if this is the truth then it is the complete opposite of what he told me when he saw me the last of February. If this is not true, which I believe is the case, they just don't want to spend the few dollars to make a new lens. Now this is the whole thing is a nut shell. They don't want to admit the glasses were make wrong and spend three dollars on another lens. These glasses are made by prisoner at Nash medium custody prison east of Raleigh. They not only make all of the glasses for NC prisoners, they also make them for Departments of Correction in other states. Today, there were about (8) new pairs of glasses sent back to be checked. If they own up to all of these glasses being defective then that would hurt their sales to other prison systems. My eyesight is being determined on credibility and money. These two factors are risking my losing my eyesight. So, after I was told this I asked "well, are they going to arrange to have the cataract taken out" and they said "he did not say anything else about it." If a cataract is to the stage of causing me to not be able to see then would or should it not be removed? I mean, can they get worse than causing you to not be able to see? What do I do. Who do I go to. Who do you go to when the Fox is guarding the henhouse? These people care absolutely nothing about what happens to our health or lives. Just like this so-called chronic care unit. God it is a joke. The only thing they do here is pedal dope, the same thing they do at medication windows in other parts of this prison and prisons all over the state. The nurses talk about what a joke this is. And this whole big torture chamber is headed by the great doctor Paula Smith who knows absolutely nothing except what her addlebrain assistant Ms. Jackson tells her. I have been to Root Doctors(Shamans) in Robeson County who did more for me. Hell my grandma was a doctor who treated people throughout the community and she practiced better, much, much better medicine than these people do. The nurses even talk about how they are hastening out deaths to save a dollar. But they spend millions funding their so called emergency response outfit playing all of their army and war games. I will be glad when Bush finally presses the button and every last one of them will have their asses snatched up to go play real life army. Iraq can have all of 'em. Do you really truly know what it is like to have people over you play with your actual life? And you have absolutely no say whatsoever. Do you have any idea? Thousands receive undercover death sentences and they don't even know it. I tell these young boys coming in with 18, 20 years, "Well, too bad you will never get out." "Oh I might be 40 years old but I will get out." "No you won't get out. Number one, you cannot live 20 years eating this non-nutritional slop they feed you and second, your health will be your worst enemy. The place stays embedded with germs, bacteria, disease, death. They will never provide to you the basics you will need for your body to survive 20 years." Sometimes I won't see them for day where they have laid up thinking and realizing all I have said is the cold hard truth. More on this later.............EH

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

"24 Hour Casino"

Hello from the war zone. No! Not Iraq or Washington DC. From a prison somewhere in the remote parts of North Carolina. I have been listening to the little Walmart $2.50 walkman they allow us to have trying to block out the wails and bellows coming from the mouths of idiots. The sound of dominoes being slammed on a stainless steel table. They can't lay them, they have to slam them. Can you imagine that sound. Then there is the other crowd two tables up playing spades. And guess what? Yeah, they have to slam the cards too. They can't lay them down they have to do some kind of jerk with their wrist that like makes them pop when they hit the table. Then let us travel two tables over to the left and there we have the round table of idiots all of them trying to talk about things they know nothing about. So each one is striving to come up with the next very impressive sounding comment or statement to outshine the previous statement and every statement being made is so idiotic it is unbelievable. Just today at the roundtable, new laws have been invented into existence. NASA has a ship loaded with astronauts headed to Mars to build a colony by September. The killer bees are landing in DC and on and on. Sometimes I feel like a reporter from the Enquirer is hiding out at the table wiring stories to Florida. Then we can move to the front tables which are always occupied by the TV and sports addicts. God they are in heaven with two brand new Hitachi 27" pretty color TV's mounted 15 feet up the wall. Necks craned. Tongues hanging out. Lusting and licking at half naked women on once and half naked basketball players on the other. You don't know if the are lusting over the women or men. Having two TV's serves as a great cover. Then move a table back and you have all of the Bookies and gamblers checking their ticket and the scores popping across the bottom of the screen and the bookies spotting tomorrows tickets. One table back and over to the right you have the junkies trying to send their runners to score their next high or tomorrow mornings high or tomorrow afternoon, on and on. They go so many days in advance the contracts are being negotiated. Then somebody hits a ticket and the junkie shoots a runner to him quick for a quick loan to buy a fix. And everything just travels from table to table. Somebody places a bet at the Dominos table and the kitty is getting high. One of the big bookies is running through the cellblock with his sports section flying beside him. From one door that leads to F cellblock on one side to the door across that connects to D cellblock he yells asking the cat to repeat the game he is putting the money up. While he stands there transacting the bet somebody comes up to him for some race tickets. Nothing is left out. And this quick cellblock activity report is an 18 hour a day, and longer. Constant on-going events. It moves without cease. Without interruption. There are big payoffs. Everyday. But it is not really the payoffs that keep the people coming back. It is the mirage all of it creates. A mirage that hides the reality. Hell, this ain't prison. It is little Vegas! Take care......EH